I Ching · Family Constellation · Usui Reiki
I Ching, Family Constellations and Reiki: Three Approaches to Deeper Healing
The Orders of Love · Jia Ren and Gu Hexagrams · The Five Usui Reiki Principles
Some difficulties seem to recur within families: unresolved feelings towards parents, similar relationship patterns and emotions that are hard to explain. Soul Love Center instructor Cathy Wong brings together three approaches to help students understand these issues from different perspectives: the family philosophy of the I Ching, the systemic perspective of family constellations, and self-care through Usui Reiki.
This article will introduce the origins and core principles of each of the three wisdoms, explaining how they interrelate, and openly discuss the current status, controversies, and relevant considerations in family constellations research, so that you can make an informed decision after understanding clearly.
⚠️ Important Declaration: The I Ching, family constellations, and Reiki are auxiliary methods for holistic wellbeing and are not psychological therapy or medical treatment, and cannot replace registered doctors, clinical psychologists, or other mental health professionals. If emotional distress persists or affects your life, please seek professional help immediately.
At a glance
The three-in-one approach is: the I Ching provides a philosophical framework for understanding family and change, family constellations offers an experience method for observing family relationship dynamics, and Usui Reiki provides tools for daily relaxation and self-care. All three complement each other, but none can replace professional treatment.
In this article
- What are family constellations?
- The Three Principles of Hellinger's “Orders of Love”
- The Current Status and Controversies of Family Constellations Research
- The Family Wisdom of the I Ching: the Family Hexagram, the Work on What Has Been Spoiled, and the Accumulation of Good Deeds
- Usui Reiki: Daily Grounding and Self-Care
- A Comparative Table of the Three Wisdoms
- How can the three parts support each other?
- Changes in Family Relationships in Students' Accounts
- Which situations are suitable and which are not?
- Preparation before participation
- Daily family awareness practice
- Related courses and instructors
- Frequently asked questions
Family Constellation
1. What Are Family Constellations?
Founder: Bert Hellinger
Family constellation (Family Constellation, also known as system constellation) was developed by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger (1925–2019). Hellinger served as a missionary in the Zulu region of South Africa early in his career, and later engaged with psychoanalysis and family therapy. Family constellation integrates family systems therapy, phenomenology, and his observations of family relationships, and has been widely spread in Europe since the 1990s.
How are the constellations usually conducted?
- The client simply states the topic they wish to explore, such as their relationship with their father.
- The client chooses participants to act as representatives of themselves and the relevant family members.
- The client arranges the representatives in positions in the space according to their intuition.
- The representatives notice how they feel in their positions, while the facilitator observes the overall relationship dynamics.
- The facilitator may adjust the positions or ask the representatives to say a short sentence, allowing the relationship to present new possibilities.
This is a general form; different facilitators may have different approaches; individual forms may also use mannequins or mats instead of real people as representatives.
Orders of Love
2. The Three Principles of Hellinger's “Orders of Love”
Hellinger called the principles he observed in family systems the “Orders of Love”, usually summarised in three principles:
| Principle | Content | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Belonging | Each family member has the right to belong to the family | Members who are forgotten or excluded are still members of the family |
| Order | The one who comes first is before, the one who comes later is after | Parents before children; elder siblings before younger siblings |
| Balance of giving and receiving | In adult relationships, giving and receiving need to be balanced | In a relationship between partners, one party may give without receiving, leading to imbalance |
Parents and children: an exception
Hellinger believed that the balance of giving and receiving does not apply in the same way between parents and children: parents give life, and children cannot repay it in equal measure. Instead, they pass on what they have received to the next generation or to others.
How to understand the 'Orders of Love'?
These principles are Hellinger's personal observations and interpretations, rather than scientifically validated laws. At Soul Love Center, they serve as a framework for awareness of family relationships, rather than a way to judge who is right or wrong.
Evidence & Debate
III. Current Status and Controversies of the Family Constellation Research
Positive Research Results
A research team from the University of Heidelberg in Germany conducted a few randomized controlled trials:
- Weinhold et al. (2013): Participants from the general population showed improvements in psychological functioning at 2 weeks and 4 months after attending a constellation workshop, but the effects were small.
- Hunger and colleagues (2014, published in Family Process): participants reported improvements in their experience of interpersonal systems, including belonging, autonomy, harmony and confidence, after 4 months compared with the waiting-list group.
Researchers also noted that these participants were generally from the public population, not seeking treatment, so constellation is more suitable as an auxiliary method for other approaches.
Criticism and Controversy
- Questioned theoretical basis: Some scholars criticise parts of Hellinger's explanations as lacking scientific support, suggesting that positive feelings may arise from suggestion, empathy or expectations.
- Ethical concerns: Polish scholar Talarczyk argues that Hellinger's approach does not meet several requirements of psychotherapy ethics concerning process, contracts, diagnosis, supervision and confidentiality, making it difficult to regard it as psychotherapy.
- Risk of dependence: Experts advise caution if any holistic activity demands secrecy about its content, encourages isolation from family and friends, or creates excessive dependence on the facilitator.
We have chosen to list these details openly because understanding rationally is the first step in responsibly engaging in spiritual or holistic practices.
I Ching on Family
IV. The Wisdom of the I Ching: The Family Hexagram, the Work on What Has Been Spoiled, and the Good Deeds Family
The I Ching understands all things through changes in yin and yang. Several passages offer profound reflections on family and intergenerational relationships, resonating with family constellation work.
Jia Ren (Hexagram 37): Each in Their Place
“When fathers fulfil the role of fathers, children of children, elder brothers of elder brothers, younger brothers of younger brothers, husbands of husbands and wives of wives, the way of the family is set right. When the family is set right, the world becomes settled.”
—Zhouyi, Jia Ren, Commentary on the Judgment
This means that when parents, children, siblings and spouses fulfil their respective roles, family relationships are put in order. This resembles the constellation principle of order: everyone has their own place. The Image commentary on the Family hexagram also says, “The noble person speaks with substance and acts with consistency”, reminding us that improving family relationships often begins with sincere words and consistent actions.
Returning Home to Heal: The Sequence of the Hexagrams
The Sequence of the Hexagrams commentary explains why Jia Ren follows Ming Yi: “Yi means injury. Those injured outside must return to their family; therefore Jia Ren follows.” When people are hurt outside, they naturally return home. The family can be a source of hurt, but it can also be a place of healing.
Work on What Has Been Spoiled (Eighteen Hexagram): Correcting the issues of the previous generation
“Setting right what has been spoiled by the father: having a son, the departed father is without blame. There is danger, but in the end good fortune.”
—Zhouyi, Gu, First Six Line
Gu means accumulated decay or corruption. “Setting right what has been spoiled by the father” refers to children taking responsibility for and correcting problems left by the previous generation. The second nine line says, “Setting right what has been spoiled by the mother: one must not be rigidly persistent”, reminding us to balance firmness and gentleness when addressing difficulties involving our mother. The Gu hexagram takes a constructive view of influence across generations: the next generation can address inherited problems appropriately. This echoes the focus on intergenerational transmission in constellation work.
A Family That Accumulates Good Deeds Will Have Blessings to Spare
The Wenyan commentary on Kun says, “A family that accumulates good deeds will have blessings to spare; a family that accumulates bad deeds will have misfortune to spare.” A family's good deeds continue to influence later generations. This also echoes the merit Cathy often discusses and the Level 2 topic “how to plant seeds of merit”.
More connections between the I Ching and Reiki, please read I Ching and Reiki: Applying Yin–Yang Balance to Energy Practice , and The Five Elements and Seven Chakras: An I Ching Perspective 。
Usui Reiki
5. Usui Reiki: Daily Grounding and Self-Care
Usui Reiki was founded by Mikao Usui in Japan. After attunement, practitioners use their hands to transmit Reiki to support relaxation. In this integration of three approaches, Reiki provides daily grounding: insights from the I Ching and constellation work may stir emotions, while Reiki offers a daily means of caring for oneself.
The Five Principles: Daily Guidance for Repairing Family Relationships
The Five Usui Reiki Principles—just for today, do not be angry, do not worry, be grateful, work diligently and be kind to others—can each be applied to family relationships. “Do not be angry”, for example, reminds us to pause during a disagreement with family, while “be kind to others” begins with those closest to us.
Content related to the family in the course
- Level 1: 'Understanding how the subconscious influences oneself' and 'Improving emotional accumulations in the subconscious'.
- Intermediate: “Revisiting past trauma through healing and forgiveness” and “Understanding how the laws of karma work”.
- Advanced: “Reiki Family Constellations: The I Ching Philosophy”.
- Master: “Advanced Reiki Family Constellations”.
To learn about the lineage of Usui Reiki, read What Is Usui Reiki? A Complete Introduction to Mikao Usui and Reiki and Mikao Usui 。
Comparison
Six, three sets of wisdom comparison tables
| Item | I Ching | family constellations | Usui Reiki |
|---|---|---|---|
| Source | Ancient Chinese classics, regarded as the "first of all classics" | Germany, Bert Hellinger (1925–2019) | Japan, Mikao Usui (1865–1926) |
| Core concepts | Yin-yang change, putting family relationships in order and correcting inherited problems | Belonging, order and balance between giving and receiving | Attunement, hand positions, and the Five Reiki Principles |
| Main forms | Reading, thinking, self-awareness | Group experiences and positioning representatives | Self-healing and offering Reiki to others |
| Role in the integration | Framework of understanding | Observing family dynamics | Daily grounding and self-care |
| Research current situation | Philosophy and cultural classics, not therapy | Few randomized controlled trials, effect is small, controversial | NCCIH: Not clearly proven effective, no harmful effects found |
Integration
7. How the Three Approaches Complement One Another
The following is a general integration approach, for your reference; the actual schedule in the course is determined by the instructor according to the situation.
Step One: Settle Yourself with Reiki
Before exploring family issues, settle yourself through self-Reiki and meditation, allowing yourself to relax, become grounded and establish a sense of safety.
Step two: Observe relationships through arrangement
With the facilitator's guidance, use the constellation to observe positions and dynamics within family relationships, such as who is overlooked or who is carrying a role that does not belong to them.
Step 3: Understanding change through the I Ching
Use insights such as “each person in their proper place” from the Family hexagram and “correcting what has been spoiled by the father” from the Gu hexagram to understand what you observe. Relationships can change: adversity can give way to peace.
Step 4: Return to daily life and continue practice
After awareness, return to your daily self Reiki, the Five Reiki Principles, and specific actions, such as calling your parents or saying 'Thank you'. Transformation requires time and perseverance.
Student Stories
8. Changes in Family Relationships in Students' Accounts
The following are excerpts from Soul Love Center Student Testimonials The original text, which is personal experience, varies from person to person:
「I had a relationship with my parents that was not deep in childhood, and I could not understand their hardships in youth. This pain and resentment were deeply rooted in my subconscious... After Reiki, I began to transform the blocked energy and viewed my parents with a higher perspective. When I truly understood them, the family karmic debt was resolved. Now, my relationship with my parents is harmonious and filled with love.」
“Hi Cathy, I wanted to share that my relationship with my mum has improved a lot 🤗. Thank you so much!”
Another student in the sharing session reminded everyone: 'Honoring parents: respect and care for parents, making them happy, and avoiding worrying them.' More cases can be read Reiki and Abundance: Real-Life Experiences and Real Stories: How Usui Reiki Students Experienced Abundance and Change 。
Who It Suits
9. Appropriate and inappropriate situations
May be suitable situations
- Wishing to understand relationships with parents, partners, or family members from a different perspective
- Awareness of recurring patterns in the family, hoping for more insight
- Interested in Eastern wisdom such as the I Ching, and wish to apply it to life
- Have learned Usui Reiki, and wish to deepen their understanding in an advanced or master-level course
It is advisable to seek professional help in certain situations
- Currently experiencing severe depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress or thoughts of self-harm.
- Currently in a situation of domestic violence or other dangerous circumstances
- Currently undergoing psychiatric or psychological treatment and have not consulted the primary physician or therapist
For immediate emotional distress, call The Samaritan Befrienders Hong Kong's 24-hour hotline on 2389 2222 or the Hospital Authority's Mental Health Direct on 2466 7350. In immediate danger, call 999.
Safety
Ten, Pre-Session Notes
- Understand the leader's background: check the leader's training, experience, and relevant qualifications
- Maintain autonomy: the feelings and interpretations in the session are just one possible way of understanding, and the final understanding is up to you
- Watch for warning signs: Be cautious if you are asked to keep the content secret, distance yourself from family and friends, or make major decisions.
- Keep external support: share your feelings with trusted friends or professional people
- Do not replace therapy: continue to follow the advice of your doctor and therapist
The current scientific status of Reiki itself, for reference Does Reiki Work? What Research Says About Stress and Sleep ；applications related to emotions, for reference Can Reiki help with insomnia, anxiety, and emotions? 。
Daily Practice
XI. Daily Family Awareness Practice (15 minutes)
- Settling (5 minutes): If you have completed Level 1 attunement, practise self-Reiki with your hands on your chest. If you have not learnt Reiki, rest your hands gently on your chest and breathe slowly.
- Five Reiki Principles (1 minute): Recite, “Just for today, do not be angry, do not worry, be grateful, work diligently and be kind to others.”
- Family Hexagram Question (3 minutes): What is my position in the house today? Have I done something that does not belong to my role, or neglected my duties?
- Gratitude (3 minutes): Write down one thing that your parents or family have done for you, regardless of its size.
- One action (3 minutes): Choose one small thing to do tomorrow, such as offering a greeting or saying thank you.
For self-healing hand positions, see 12 Reiki Hand Positions for Self-Healing ；the overall picture of integration of body, mind and spirit What is the integration of body, mind, and spirit? 。
Courses & Teacher
Twelve. Related courses and teachers
Teacher: Cathy Wong
Cathy Wong is an IARP-registered Reiki Master Teacher (IARP no. 62694574), an NGH internationally recognised hypnotherapist and a family constellations practitioner. Having experienced a difficult period in her own life, she explored hypnotherapy, family constellations and various Western holistic courses before finding direction through Reiki, the I Ching and Buddhist wisdom. See Cathy Wong: The Healing Journey of an IARP-Registered Reiki Master Teacher and Our Teacher 。
Related courses
| Courses | Related content | Fee |
|---|---|---|
| Usui Reiki Level 1 | Two attunements, self-healing, subconscious and emotions | HK$900 |
| Usui Reiki Level 2 | Revisiting past trauma through healing and forgiveness; the laws of karma | HK$1,380 |
| Advanced Usui Reiki | Reiki Family Constellations: The I Ching Philosophy; the twelve meridians and the meridian time cycle | HK$1,880 |
| Usui/Tibetan Reiki Master Level | Advanced Reiki Family Constellations | HK$8,888 |
For a comparison of all courses, see Our services ；Selection criteria for the center can be referenced Where Is the Best Place to Learn Reiki in Hong Kong? Seven Key Considerations . If you would prefer an initial relaxation experience, you can book a Reiki session. For the process, see Reiki Session Fees and What Happens During a Session 。
FAQ
I Ching, Family Constellation and Reiki Common Questions
What are family constellations?
Family constellations were developed by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger (1925–2019). In this experiential approach, usually practised in a group, participants represent members of the client's family, allowing relationship dynamics within the family system to become visible.
What is Hellinger's 'Orders of Love'?
Generally summarized into three principles: Belonging (each family member has the right to belong to the family), Order (the first comes first, for example, parents before children), and the balance of giving and receiving (balance between giving and receiving in adult relationships; parents give, children receive).
Does Family Constellation have scientific evidence?
Research is limited and controversial. Randomised controlled trials by a University of Heidelberg team (Weinhold et al., 2013; Hunger et al., 2014) found improvements in psychological functioning and experiences within interpersonal systems among general-population participants after constellation workshops, but the effects were small. Some scholars also criticise the theoretical basis and argue that the approach does not meet several ethical requirements of psychotherapy.
What are the commonalities between I Ching and Family Constellation?
The Judgement commentary on the I Ching's Family hexagram says, “When fathers fulfil their role as fathers, children as children, elder and younger siblings their respective roles, and husbands and wives theirs, the family is put in order.” Its emphasis on everyone taking their proper place resembles the constellation principle of order. The first six of the Gu hexagram says, “Setting right what has been spoiled by the father: having a son, the departed father is without blame.” This concerns children addressing problems inherited from the previous generation, echoing the attention constellations give to intergenerational influences.
Which course at Soul Love Center includes family constellations?
The Advanced Usui Reiki course (HK$1,880) includes “Reiki Family Constellations: The I Ching Philosophy”, while the Master course (HK$8,888) includes “Advanced Reiki Family Constellations”. Cathy Wong is a family constellation practitioner and an IARP-registered Reiki Master Teacher.
Can family constellation replace psychotherapy?
No. Family constellation, I Ching, and Reiki are all complementary methods for holistic wellbeing. If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or trauma, please consult a registered doctor, clinical psychologist, or another qualified mental health professional.
For more questions, see Frequently asked questions ; for all articles, see Article library ; for the teacher's videos, see Videos 。
Important Disclaimer: The I Ching, family constellation, and Reiki mentioned in this article are only complementary methods for holistic wellbeing and are not medical or psychological treatment recommendations. They cannot replace the diagnosis and treatment provided by a registered doctor, clinical psychologist, or other qualified mental health professionals. The experiences shared by students are personal and vary from person to person.
From understanding the family to taking care of oneself
“Those injured outside must return to their family.” The family can be a source of hurt and a place of healing. To explore family relationships through the wisdom of Usui Reiki, the I Ching and family constellations, enquire about the courses Cathy teaches personally.
